Soul Songs: 32 Songs That Found Me *Exactly* When I Needed Them (and Who I Was Back Then)

Whenever I hear them, I return very briefly to that past version of myself… It's a gift that only these songs can provide.

Today is one of those rare days where I just have NO urge to write about politics… so, in the spirit of self care, I present… my soul songs.

Readers of this newsletter (which just topped 4,000 subscribers and I am joyfully incredulous, THANK YOU) might be surprised to learn that there exists another topic that gets me almost as excited as politics; Music is, for me, absolutely fundamental to well-being. Making a nearly daily playlist of just the right mix of songs, to survive whatever I was living through… well, that's how I lived through all of it. From playing classical piano as a kid, to riding the school bus with my Walkman, to the iPod and LimeWire, and all the way to Spotify now; music has been my lifelong companion and my permission to feel the big stuff.

I have a playlist of All-Time Favorites, but I'm too damn shy to share them yet! However, this set of songs is nearly as dear to my heart; I've always called them my “Soul Songs”, though I certainly can't say I invented the term or anything... My soul songs are those particularly special tracks that showed up at the exact moment I needed them. Maybe they carried me through something painful, or perhaps they became the soundtrack to a core memory; some of them were directly relevant to my life. Regardless, whenever I hear them, I return very briefly to that past version of myself… It's a gift that only these songs can provide.

Here are (most of) my soul songs, and who I was when they found me:

Wait Til You See My Smile - Alicia Keys

28 years old and getting therapy for the first time, I happened to find this song; at the same moment my life started to let in some moments of joy, this song about turning corners found me. No wonder I've always loved Alicia Keys!

Kokomo - The Beach Boys

7 years old, dancing inside of the Early Learning Daycare after school. The daycare owner, Glenna, let me put this song on repeat for months… bless that woman's patience.

Jesus of Suburbia - Green Day

15 years old, home alone during the summer, SCREAMING THIS at the top of my lungs while jumping on the trampoline.

Hopeless Wanderer - Mumford & Sons

25 years old, and coming to terms that life was not going to look the way I expected.. but that maybe, maybe it's okay.

Barefoot Blue Jean Night - Jake Owen

22 years old, last year of college, knowing the end of this phase of my life was near; I did grow up, I'm afraid, but I would tell my younger self that there are new adventures with age. Your 30’s are more fun in some ways, and when I need to feel young again, this is one of the tracks I choose.

BITCH (takes one to know one) - Lennon Stella

I was 29 years old, and my boss was bullying me nearly everyday. Other colleagues would offer words of comfort when she wasn't looking, but they dared not speak out. She was best friends with one of the big wigs, after all. She was uniquely positioned to get away with it, and she did for a good while… I’d listen to this song on repeat at my desk anytime she was unkind.

Blue Clear Sky - George Strait

I wasn't even in love… I was just 18 and still believed everything was possible 😊 Distinct memories of walking through the campus of Glendale Community College, PEP IN MY STEP, to the beat of this song.

Stressed Out - Twenty One Pilots

24 years old, and adulthood SUCKS… this song was perfectly relevant to my life when it came out.

The Great Escape/Hero & Heroine - BOYSLIKEGIRLS

I put these songs together because they evoke the same version of me - 17 years old, girlish, loud, giggly, screaming this in my 1997 Saturn SL2.

The Zephyr Song - Red Hot Chili Peppers

It is 8th or 9th grade… I am getting ready for school in my bedroom and MTV Hits is playing music videos. I straighten my hair and watch the Zephyr music video.

Inevitable - Anberlin

At 17 years old, I saved for months so I could go on a band trip to Disneyland. It was an incredible trip, but we arrived a day late because there was a bad snowstorm somewhere in Virginia and one of the bridges closed down… for 14 hours. A few chaperones, our band director, 60ish classmates and I were stuck on that coach bus in traffic that just. didn't. budge. It was likely torture for the adults, but it ended up being a pretty cool memory for me… anyway, this is the song I fell asleep to on repeat that night.

A Woman's Worth - Alicia Keys

My best friend Natasha and I performed this song together at our 8th grade talent show; she sang while I played the piano. We wore matching tops and jeans jackets, with matching corn rows and hoop earrings. We got a standing ovation 😊

marjorie - Taylor Swift

I lost my own Nana in November; this song helped a lot.

GFY - Dennis Lloyd

One year ago today, I played this song on repeat all day long; the irony is, I would dedicate it to the same person who introduced the song to me. Life is strange!

The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage - Panic! At The Disco

My Momma, brother and I used to sing this at the top of our lungs in the car in high school. The whole album is phenomenal!

Cowboy Take Me Away - The Chicks

My very first cassette tape 🤣 I was perhaps 8, 9 years old, and I would close my door and dance to this song. Girlhood is a lovely thing.

Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson

It is sophomore year of high school; I'm sleeping over at my best friend Danni’s house. We recorded the most ridiculous lip-syncing video for this song, and I am so lucky it does not exist anymore!

Cruise - Florida Georgia Line

I am in the backseat of a taxi with my college boyfriend and our roommate; we are HAMMERED, but the driver is cool. This song comes on, the driver turns it up loud, and we drunkenly blow this poor driver's eardrums out singing this song. We all work in the service industry, though, so he gets a $50 tip for his trouble!

Anxiety - Julia Michaels (feat. Selena Gomez)

I am 30 and finally have some tools to fight panic disorder and MDD… and then this song comes out too! It gives me a dose of humor for the situation, and makes me feel way less alone.

Words I Never Said - Lupe Fiasco (feat. Skylar Grey)

I found this song again about 6 weeks ago; it had been years since hearing it. I listened to it three times in a row… and then I started this newsletter. This song convinced me to start writing publicly.

Till it's Gone - Yelawolf

I listen to this song when I need to give myself some tough love. I'm not a man, I'm not rich, and I don't solve my problems with guns, so there's no reason it should resonate with me… and yet, it's the first song on my playlist when I wanna toughen up.

Day N’ Nite - Kid Cudi

I am 18 years old and just tried marijuana. My best friend Corey is next to me, and we're laying on his living room floor listening to this song.

Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift (feat. Civil Wars)

I am 23 years old and the panic attacks are brand new; they're extra scary right now, because I don't know what they are yet… It will get better, but until it does, this song seems to help a bit.

We Are Young - fun. (feat. Janelle Monae)

This was my “I just became legal to drink” song. It absolutely defined the summer of my 21st year.

The Yawning Grave - Lord Huron

Years ago, I messed up pretty badly at work, and the COO chewed my ass out in front of everyone. I held my shit together LIKE AN ADULT… and then bawled like a baby all the way home. This song was on repeat 🤣

Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

I am 6, maybe 7 years old. I'm sitting in the back seat of my Dad's Ford Probe. There is a penny stuck inside the stereo speaker, and my feet don't touch the floorboard yet… this song is playing on the radio.

Tears of a Clown - Smokey Robinson

I'm in 6th grade and my Mom just bought a new CD, but my brother and I are disappointed… Motown is for old people, we scoffed… Two weeks later, we're requesting the Motown CD every day!

So Long, London - Taylor Swift

Y’ALL… that college boyfriend of mine was the hardest breakup ever, my little heart was BROKEN… and So Long, London was the closure, 10 years later. There's something about this song that just puts perspective to it. It gave me the last bit of peace I needed.

Hey Brother - Avicii

My brother, Zack, was my first best friend, and is still a best friend for life. I don't even know if I told him this song reminds me of him, but it does.

Summer Nights - Lil Rob

I am 22, it is indeed the summer, and I am indeed partying.

X (feat. Maluma & Ozuna) - Remix - Nicky Jam, J Balvin

I was 31 when I randomly sang this song on TikTok, and the video went viral; I found myself with followers from all over the Hispanic/Latin world. They even helped me build a reggaeton playlist for learning more Spanish! It was such a pleasant and unexpected surprise.

I Remember Everything (feat. Kasey Musgraves) - Zach Bryan, The War and Treaty

2024 sucked hard; this song helped a bunch.

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For the record, I decided to skip my soul songs related to grief; this was supposed to be a self-care exercise, after all! If you haven’t collected your soul songs, I hope this provides a dose of inspiration. Perhaps I’ll make playlist sharing a recurring thing…