34-Year-Old American: "I Don't Have Any Dreams Left."

How are we supposed to dream when every avenue feels impossible?

For 16 years, I’ve been an adult in America, and for 16 years, adulthood has been an exercise in letting my dreams go.

• Taking a gap year between high school and college.

• Studying abroad.

• Completing an unpaid internship.

• Continuing my education and getting a doctorate degree (my biggest dream).

• Living abroad for a few years.

• Living on my own.

• Having a family.

But I’m an American, you know?!? We’re an optimistic bunch, almost to the point of irrationality; as those dreams were retired, new ones took their place… these dreams were smaller in scale, but more affordable and realistic:

• Repair my credit so I can become a homeowner someday.

• Climb the ranks in the field of property management (the industry I ended up in), so I can eventually help new graduates get settled in their careers.

• Buy a little house with a big backyard and own 10 dogs.

• Find love.

And yet, even as time went on and I made my dreams smaller and smaller, those dreams still got further and further away.

2024 was the worst year of my life; the kind of year when everything, EVERYTHING changes. My aunt died; my boyfriend turned out to be lying about his entire life; the best job I’ve ever had ended traumatically, and I left the field of property management forever; my relationship with my parents hit its breaking point and we went no-contact; I tried to start a business and failed miserably; I applied to ~280 jobs and couldn’t get a single callback; Met another man, dated about 2 months, and then he cheated and we broke up; I lost the ability to sit, stand, or walk in July, then found myself having emergency back surgery. I couldn’t work and therefore couldn’t pay my rent, and would have been homeless if not for the kindness of friends; my finances were absolutely destroyed and all the progress I’d made with my credit was wiped out. My grandmother died. Three weeks later, on what would have been my aunt’s birthday (the one who passed earlier in the year), my cousin put a gun in his mouth and joined his mother in heaven.

Oh yeah, and then President Trump won and started giving our country to billionaires.

So, I’m really not trying to throw myself a pity party, nor am I fishing for concern; to be honest, even now, I’m actually still one of the more privileged Americans… I had a Mom and Dad. I got to go to college. I’m a white girl with blue eyes. I’ve been blessed with a pretty big brain and a love of learning.

The problem is, I’m looking at the rest of my life, and I’m trying to find something, anything, that feels realistic to pursue… And I’ve got nothing left, honestly. What goals can I set for my life that actually feel possible to achieve?

If you’re reading this, and you’re American, I’m GENUINELY asking you… how are you holding on to your dreams?

Maybe the new American Dream is having a dream at all.