I had such a breakdown this morning over this. Again. I’m 38, white, blue eyes, a beautiful son, & I’m so grateful for so much, but I’m also so driven & feel blocked in every direction. I have no idea how to make anything of my life most days. I’m late in life queer, autistic, & creative, & it feels like I figured it all out too late. I’m also no contact with half or more of my family. I just started making my own music, but the joy & hope that brought me seems suddenly all so silly. My small crystal & crystal jewelry business I had to take a year off from and was just trying to revitalize feels silly. I walk dogs because it’s all I’ve been able to do consistently with CPTSD & autoimmune diseases popping up. It the moments that I feel more connected & less defeated, I know I’ve already accomplished so much & that just by continuing to try & do what lights me up & sharing that with others I’m doing a ton. I wish I had more answers, & I wish we had a fair shot at the lives we deserve. Sparkle as bright as you can in resistance. That’s all I got. And when you can’t be sweet to yourself till you can again. 💖🫶✨
I wish we had a fair shot at the lives we deserve ❤️ Thank you for saying this, Erin, and thank you for confirming I'm not alone with these feelings (though I wish none of us felt this way). Remember, doing things that make you happy and focusing on passions when the country wants you to focus on profit... THAT'S resistance too. If nothing else, keep walking the dogs and making the jewelry because it makes you happy, and the pursuit of happiness should never be paused... not even now!
I found hope within myself. Even with the trauma, the failures, the madness, all of it.
That this place in history isn't unique. It's kind of what's always been in ebbs and flows. That while there are dark times there's light times too.
The world turns. There's good to be found in it. There's things worth striving for.
In the death camps Viktor Frankl found that Love was the highest value people can strive for. He got through thinking about seeing his wife again.
Life becomes almost an act of resistance. A struggle to hang onto something good within you. To fight for it.
I was at my lowest point a couple of years ago. Probably two steps away from checking out for good. I stared over that edge and stepped back from it with some help.
In these times Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata" brings me comfort. I hope it might for you too.
You’re a beautiful writer, Frederic; this was downright poetic.
Thank you so much for saying it. I’ve been leaning on a quote that Jessica Craven said after the election; “We do not get to choose the era we live in.” You’re right… people live fulfilling lives even in dictatorial countries all the time, and our job is to add to the good of the world in whatever way we know how.
My dreams were gone 14 years ago when I had to stop my whole life to take care of my parents because they were sick and insurance company caused my mom to have a stroke because they denied heart surgery even though she had an infection in her heart, they didn’t care. This country is bullshit one big, laughing joke, and we weren’t pervy to it.
I’m so sorry Christine… I came really, really close to losing control of my legs and bladder because of the damn runaround with insurance. It’s insane that nearly every American has a horror story with this system, yet it’s been allowed to stay this way.
I'm just a random guy who stumbled into these comments somehow, and now I feel ashamed out of sympathy for the pain that's described here. Women are so strong; they bend and suffer but their heads are always up. Just a random guy wishing you well.
Feeling all of this. I don’t know the answer yet. Moving through grief. Therapist recommends imagining Post Traumatic Growth. And poetry. Dark Night of the Soul by St John of the Cross. Dogfish by Mary Oliver. For now, dropping anchor in the storm. Hold fast. ⚓️
I felt this with my soul. I'm in a very similar boat. America is a hellscape and we are all just trying to survive.
I like to think of it as an open air prison. We think we have choices but we don't. My partner has called me terminally optimistic. But it's because if I'm not, we'd die.
I have to believe in something. A year ago I found my calling. I'm still working towards it, and still worried about becoming homeless each month, but I have a goal. It's given me more hope than anything else.
The biggest act of rebellion is hope. Hope of a better future. Hope we can actually have big dreams. Hope that we DESERVE to thrive in our lives.
Because as Americans, if we are anything, it's tenacious as fuck.
I turned 56 the first time dump was elected. I'm 65 now. Retirement gets fartger and farther away. At my husband's birthday party tonight the family who didn't vote for dump, gathered. We committed to each other and the 4 grandkids sitting at the table. We have another granddaughter due in April. Im terrified. My single 32 year old daughter survived 4 years of brain surgeries to control her epilepsy. Her hopelessness has been debilitating. I have no suggestions but I'll tell you what I tell my daughter, "please stay. Don't leave us." Personally I'm going to study mesoamerican culture and art. I'm listening to Spanish TV and keeping my Spanish strong. If you say where you live perhaps some of the people can get together. Sending you hugs.
I feel as you feel, I wish at times I could simply ignore the ugliness I see every day, from what I'm reading here, a lot of good people, really don't see what's coming, I have drawn a few conclusions, your right, I feel as though there's nothing to look forward to, such an odd feeling,
I have decided to employ the phrase: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." I can't stop JBEMMZ from robbing the country, but I can journal for the future archives' sake (on paper), and volunteer at a food bank. Drill down extra extra hard... It's fair to lose hope in the country, but not your fellow humans... Or that's what I keep telling myself! Harder to feel it all the time
As a 75 yr old, I see no hope fore the rest of my life. It will take decades for any type of turnaround. However I really worry about the world in general. Not a glimmer.
Hi Linda... I wish so much that I could offer some words of comfort, you know? Like, some kinda solution or way forward... I'm just coming up short. What I can say for sure is, you're not alone in your worries. Not alone at all.
I had such a breakdown this morning over this. Again. I’m 38, white, blue eyes, a beautiful son, & I’m so grateful for so much, but I’m also so driven & feel blocked in every direction. I have no idea how to make anything of my life most days. I’m late in life queer, autistic, & creative, & it feels like I figured it all out too late. I’m also no contact with half or more of my family. I just started making my own music, but the joy & hope that brought me seems suddenly all so silly. My small crystal & crystal jewelry business I had to take a year off from and was just trying to revitalize feels silly. I walk dogs because it’s all I’ve been able to do consistently with CPTSD & autoimmune diseases popping up. It the moments that I feel more connected & less defeated, I know I’ve already accomplished so much & that just by continuing to try & do what lights me up & sharing that with others I’m doing a ton. I wish I had more answers, & I wish we had a fair shot at the lives we deserve. Sparkle as bright as you can in resistance. That’s all I got. And when you can’t be sweet to yourself till you can again. 💖🫶✨
I wish we had a fair shot at the lives we deserve ❤️ Thank you for saying this, Erin, and thank you for confirming I'm not alone with these feelings (though I wish none of us felt this way). Remember, doing things that make you happy and focusing on passions when the country wants you to focus on profit... THAT'S resistance too. If nothing else, keep walking the dogs and making the jewelry because it makes you happy, and the pursuit of happiness should never be paused... not even now!
You’re so right, Brie. Thank you 💖
I found hope within myself. Even with the trauma, the failures, the madness, all of it.
That this place in history isn't unique. It's kind of what's always been in ebbs and flows. That while there are dark times there's light times too.
The world turns. There's good to be found in it. There's things worth striving for.
In the death camps Viktor Frankl found that Love was the highest value people can strive for. He got through thinking about seeing his wife again.
Life becomes almost an act of resistance. A struggle to hang onto something good within you. To fight for it.
I was at my lowest point a couple of years ago. Probably two steps away from checking out for good. I stared over that edge and stepped back from it with some help.
In these times Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata" brings me comfort. I hope it might for you too.
Keep going.
https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html
You’re a beautiful writer, Frederic; this was downright poetic.
Thank you so much for saying it. I’ve been leaning on a quote that Jessica Craven said after the election; “We do not get to choose the era we live in.” You’re right… people live fulfilling lives even in dictatorial countries all the time, and our job is to add to the good of the world in whatever way we know how.
You keep going too <3
My dreams were gone 14 years ago when I had to stop my whole life to take care of my parents because they were sick and insurance company caused my mom to have a stroke because they denied heart surgery even though she had an infection in her heart, they didn’t care. This country is bullshit one big, laughing joke, and we weren’t pervy to it.
I’m so sorry Christine… I came really, really close to losing control of my legs and bladder because of the damn runaround with insurance. It’s insane that nearly every American has a horror story with this system, yet it’s been allowed to stay this way.
I'm just a random guy who stumbled into these comments somehow, and now I feel ashamed out of sympathy for the pain that's described here. Women are so strong; they bend and suffer but their heads are always up. Just a random guy wishing you well.
This was a really sweet thing to say <3 Thank you!
Feeling all of this. I don’t know the answer yet. Moving through grief. Therapist recommends imagining Post Traumatic Growth. And poetry. Dark Night of the Soul by St John of the Cross. Dogfish by Mary Oliver. For now, dropping anchor in the storm. Hold fast. ⚓️
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/157984/the-dark-night-of-the-soul
Dropping anchor in the storm is the best way to put it… we’re holding to see if there’s a reason for hope <3
I felt this with my soul. I'm in a very similar boat. America is a hellscape and we are all just trying to survive.
I like to think of it as an open air prison. We think we have choices but we don't. My partner has called me terminally optimistic. But it's because if I'm not, we'd die.
I have to believe in something. A year ago I found my calling. I'm still working towards it, and still worried about becoming homeless each month, but I have a goal. It's given me more hope than anything else.
The biggest act of rebellion is hope. Hope of a better future. Hope we can actually have big dreams. Hope that we DESERVE to thrive in our lives.
Because as Americans, if we are anything, it's tenacious as fuck.
I turned 56 the first time dump was elected. I'm 65 now. Retirement gets fartger and farther away. At my husband's birthday party tonight the family who didn't vote for dump, gathered. We committed to each other and the 4 grandkids sitting at the table. We have another granddaughter due in April. Im terrified. My single 32 year old daughter survived 4 years of brain surgeries to control her epilepsy. Her hopelessness has been debilitating. I have no suggestions but I'll tell you what I tell my daughter, "please stay. Don't leave us." Personally I'm going to study mesoamerican culture and art. I'm listening to Spanish TV and keeping my Spanish strong. If you say where you live perhaps some of the people can get together. Sending you hugs.
Okay fartger should be a word
I feel as you feel, I wish at times I could simply ignore the ugliness I see every day, from what I'm reading here, a lot of good people, really don't see what's coming, I have drawn a few conclusions, your right, I feel as though there's nothing to look forward to, such an odd feeling,
I have decided to employ the phrase: "Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." I can't stop JBEMMZ from robbing the country, but I can journal for the future archives' sake (on paper), and volunteer at a food bank. Drill down extra extra hard... It's fair to lose hope in the country, but not your fellow humans... Or that's what I keep telling myself! Harder to feel it all the time
As a 75 yr old, I see no hope fore the rest of my life. It will take decades for any type of turnaround. However I really worry about the world in general. Not a glimmer.
Hi Linda... I wish so much that I could offer some words of comfort, you know? Like, some kinda solution or way forward... I'm just coming up short. What I can say for sure is, you're not alone in your worries. Not alone at all.
I definitely do and so grateful. Thank you, Brie!
With all due respect, I feel you. But we need to buckle up.